so im getting a little sick of my dreams. waking up and realising none of it was real is possibly more depressing then the rest of it. did you know it is possible to wake up crying? well i didnt but it is.

i feel a little bad cuz CHRISTOFAH is being ignored on PINGCHAT!2 so i can write this. but surely he wont mind, CUZHEJUSTGOTASHOUTOUT. MIRITE?

soo tumblr is starting to annoy me. thought i'd share that thought here instead of there so much, because then ill get haters. BUT I MEAN COME ON?! i know it's a BLOG but if youre gunna flood me with all this writing and stupid stuff id rather you did it on here, BLOGGER.COM cuz TUMBLR is for PICTURES. i hate having to scroll till i can barely see my scrolly thing before i find a picture. NOTCOOLGUYS. anyone VENTOVER.

CHRISTOFAH (2 SHOUT OUTS MY FRIEND, BE PROUD, BE PROUD) has inspired me to maybe put in some pictures in my blogs? i think this is a marvelous idea. and you know what else? i may even make a PARODY cover so everyone can compare and realise how marvelous he is? and we can all have a good laugh at mary. cuz let's face it, it's pretty fun to laugh at mary.

i went to book a holiday yesterday with my friends emma and karly. the whole 4 day holiday (to the whitsunday islands) was gunna cost 187. the flights were 1000 BUX LIKEWTF. im serious. it costs 1200 TO FLY TO FUCKING LA. what a joke. for a 30 min flight. i mean what? do they not WANT visitors?

but that aside. im going to egypt. next march (hopefully) maybe with jason? but ill go alone if i have to. i want some excitement. and im having a mid 19yroldcrisis so i gotta spend some dough.

in brighter news, training ends this week. so i can start working normal hours again. EVERYONEBEEXCITED! even if they did roster me on thursday friday and saturday nights... hopefully it's only temporary?

oh, and in my heartbroken state i'd be lying if i didnt say one part of me wants to feel close to someone again (let's not even get started on how much i miss the sex... haaha) ... (but that aside) i just wanna feel wanted. and i have to say there is one guy i kinda find myself flirting with on the rare occassion we do talk. so now in order to prevent myself from running and fucking up someone else's life (a la andrewcatastrophe) i think i should steer clear of them. cuz god only knows theyll regret me coming into their life as much as the others have.

on that depressing note, i think imma jet. BYEFORNOW